So this is going to be a different blog. It will be about several different topics. Here goes:
The last month and a half have been a whirlwind for me. I have learned a lot about myself in that time. I have also become somewhat selfish. But I have answered all questions asked to me.

I know all of my friends are concerned about my well-being. I know that and I appreciate everyone of you. But I must say, what ever Terri and I decide to do about the house is our discussion and decision. We have decided to attempt to live under the same roof until the market gets better and then sell the house and move our separate ways. I don't know how long that will last but we are both making steps to make the living arrangements more manageable for both of us. Once again, that's for your concern for my well-being. I love all of you.

When I broke up with Terri, I told her and everyone else around me, I am not looking to date, hang out, move in with someone or anything like that. I am not interested in doing the "whole U-Haul thing". You all know what I am talking about. Well I have met someone that is intelligent, witty, a great dresser and very beautiful. I am still all about not wanting forever, not wanting to move in, not asking for forever. I want to get to know this person as much as I can and whatever it brings it brings. If it does not work out, I just hope I can have a good friend out of it.

I noticed a pattern I had in my past relationships. I would get "with them" after I have been friends with them for awhile. What is exciting about this person is I did not really know her at all. We are asking each other our likes, dislikes and spending time talking and listening to each other. That is so very exciting and incredibly fun.

So it was 3:33 am when I wrote this blog originally. (Bear you should of made a wish). Do I know where this is going to go? No and I love that. I am not analyzing this at all. I am sitting back and enjoying my time with her and my friends. I am enjoying learning more about me. I woke up with a smile on my face this morning (get your minds out of the gutter, I slept alone) I am a happier person since I made my decision. I am enjoying my work more and my life more. I hope you all can say the same thing.

Got to go and get some more work done.

BOSS

Vote for Tip Top's Chicken

Hey all,

If you would like to help George and Ro out from Tip Top and you love their fried chicken, vote for them in this contest.

If you have not had the chicken at Tip Top, get over there and try it out. It is pretty awesome. Tip Top is located at 9th and Victor in Soulard.
Later,

L

Also send this on to people that you know

http://www.stltoday.com/blogzone/house-o-fun/house-o-fun/2009/03/poll-who-has-the-best-fried-chicken-in-town/

Grandpa and Helen

Great news to share with all of you. Grandpa was doing 200% better yesterday and he was released from the hospital. Helen was happy that he was coming home. They will be nice to each other for a few days and then probably back to squabbling, but they are here and I will take it.

Thanks for all your prayers, they worked.

Have a great weekend and get out and enjoy the beautiful weather.

Boss

Sad News

This will be very difficult for me to write but I have to get it out of my head. I received a phone call from my dad last night and it was not good news. He was not bragging about the weather in Naples, FL or the great shot he made on the golf course. He called to give me an update about Grandpa and Helen. They both fell. This is the 5 or 6th time my grandfather has fallen in a year. But most importantly, this is the 3 time he has fallen in 2 months. But this was Helen's first fall. The doctors have run their tests.

Background information: My grandfather and Helen are both 98 years old. That is amazing. They both have their mind, or at least most of it. They live in an assisted living apartment and just recently, they moved to the 4th floor because they needed more care. Yes we all know the end is near.... it is the end that is the topic of this blog.

My grandfather has been a major player in my life. He would put a baseball glove in my crib, my grandmother would take the glove out and put in a doll. They would go back and forth with this until my grandfather finally insisted for the glove to stay in the crib. Well thank goodness for that because I can not see me playing with Barbies.

My grandparents lived in Ceder Lake, IL right before my grandfather retired from the steel mill. They had a wonderful garden and a lot of room for us to play. There was a vacant lot next door to them that we made into a baseball diamond and a place to have bon fires. The whole extended family came over for the bon fires. It was like a national holiday with all the people, food and fun.
I can list my best memories from that house and the time we spent with my grandparents and it would go on for pages!!!! I am not kidding.

I learned to drive a riding lawn mower in Ceder Lake, much to my grandmother's dismay. After the grass was cut I would put that lawn mower in 4th gear and run it like it was a race car around my own track.

My grandmother died when I was in 6th grade. What a wonderful woman she was. I have a lot of her in me. A few years passed and my grandfather married my grandmother's best friend, Helen. I was pissed when they told us.... no one was going to replace my grandmother. But she was very sweet after I was visibly upset. She came to my room and told me that she was not trying to replace my grandmother because she was an amazing woman. She just wanted to be part of our family. Helen fell and hit her head pretty hard but as far as we know she is ok. She has been ready for the lord to take her for a while now. She has lost her sight and most of her hearing and that is a shame. She was awesome to talk to and she was a avid reader. I wish her peace.

My grandfather was one of my faithful supporters during my sports activities. He loved it that I took up softball. He used to play 16 inch softball in Chicago. He has one crooked finger to prove it. In fact he loved to watch all three of us play baseball/softball. It was a great day for him when he could be at the baseball fields watching all three of us play baseball. Yes I did say baseball. I played in a boys baseball league for 2 years because my mom was pissed with the politics of the softball league. Anyway, he would give us a dollar if we hit a home run. My brother Scott almost bankrupted him one year because he was the leading home run hitter.

I played softball in college. During my last home game as a senior, I finally hit it out of the park. So during my graduation, I was called back up to the stage to get my home run ball, (I went to a small college.) And there was my grandfather with my dollar bill!!!!!!!!!

John R Small is the oldest of 12. He was born on 1-11-11. We call him the 5 aces because of his birth date. He changed his name from Smolinski to Small because in order for him to get a good paying job in the steel mill he could not have a Polish name.

I love them both and I wish them the peace they so dearly deserve.

Loving Life

The past few days have really made me think.
I have had fun.
I am smiling again, genuinely.
People have commented on how I am smiling again.
I have meet different people.
I strive to meet more.
I planned a mini-vacation with friends.
I am looking forward to the weekend.
I can't wait to sit a Luvy Duvy's on Saturday and enjoy a meal and time with friends.
I am looking forward to seeing Kayla.

I am coming out of my fog....... I am starting to see how beautiful the stars can be again.
I am making my own life for ME. Not anyone else.

What a great feeling.

Hope to see you all at Rehab this weekend. I work from 7 pm to close.

Boss

The Weekend

Today is Friday and it seemed like today would never come this week. I don't know if it is because I was so busy last week and weekend that this week seemed to drag on and on. Also there is not a lot planned this weekend which I am fine with. But I do find myself looking forward to Spring Break. I really was not planning on going anywhere but that has all changed.

Now I am going to Columbia to visit my best friend for a few days and then off to Tunica, MS.

I love Tunica. I love to gamble. I love to go to different casinos. I also love the fact that they still offer free drinks if you are playing. THAT IS TOTALLY AWESOME!!!!!!!! I might also make it to Memphis and go to the Civil Rights Museum. I missed that the last few times down there. But then again, I can always visit it while I am down there in May for the Music Fest.

We are getting to the point of the school year that vacations get planned with a day or two off from school. Us teachers need to revive ourselves someway. We plan long weekends.

There is not much else to say today. I plan on getting my new room more organized this weekend and I will hopefully be in my new bed by the following weekend. I am anxious to get myself organized because I can feel myself getting kind of crazed because of it.

Have a good weekend everyone.

BOSS

Being Busy

You know there is much to say for being busy. If you are busy, you don't really have to reflect. If you are busy, you are usually surrounded by people. If you are busy, you can tell yourself you do not have time to .......... do whatever it is you are avoiding.

I took a step yesterday to slow down and think about what I want. I want my own room, my own space. I want it organized the way I want and need it, not what is convient for others. I took the first step yesterday and bought some plastic containers to organize some of my clothes. Then I went home and and worked on getting something accomplished. And within an hour it was amazing how much I did. Terri even worked on getting her scrapbook stuff out of the room that is going to be mine for now on.

This was not easy for either one of us. We saw our dream diminish. So I had to sit and reflect on that for a few minutes. Terri offered to do more in the room and I told her that we have done enough for one night. I just wanted to close the door and reflect. She left and I sat and looked around. Yea I could of gotten really depressed because I could of felt as if I was being reduced to one room but that is not reality. I have a house, a nice house. It will become a house sharing instead of a partnership but that is ok. It will be ok. I know it all takes time.

I will work to get the bedroom the way I will be the most comfortable in and then I will finally purchase a bed and get off the damm air mattress. Once again, it takes time. I have time. But I do want to get to the point that I feel COMFORTABLE in the house and not feel as though I can't say what is on my mind or do what I would like. If I want to stay up until 5 am I can and will and if I want to be in bed by 7 pm I can and will.

These are my thoughts from the last few days.

Later,

BOSS