Thursday, June 17, 2010


Thursday, June 18, 2009

Mid June

Well this is the second week of summer school and I have 3 more weeks to go. It is going to be a long 3 weeks. :( I have given the students an opportunity to work in groups today and I think that seems to help a little bit. Them staying focused on the assignment is the tough part.

My personal life has had it ups and downs. I am struggling to remain calm in my living situation. I am tired of being treated like I am one of Terri's kids and she seems to think she has the final say as to what happens at the house. I am going to live my life and if that makes her uncomfortable there are places she can go. I know that might sound harsh and hateful but I am at my wits ends. We have had several discusssions on how the living arrangements can change and I am sure there will be a change in my address in the next few months.

Now to the ups. Kadee is a blessing. I am not a church-going person but I also believe that there is a reason for people to meet. I met Kadee back in September of 08 and we met again this spring. I am enjoying my time with her and she is certaintly a calming influence in my life. And she is FUN. She is OUTGOING. She is well READ. Did I say she is FUN?

I am looking forward to Friday at the pool with friends. It is starting to get hot in St. Louis and a nice cool pool is perfect. This Sunday is Father's day and I will not be in Chicago with my dad, grandfather and brother but they will be in my thoughts for sure. I hope you they have a great day.

I am working on my Master's degree through Ashford University in Iowa. It is an online program and I love it. I have completed one class and I am on my second class. I am enjoying the new technology I am learning to help with my teaching.

OK back to work,

Have a great weekend everyone.


Thursday, June 4, 2009

Another School Year Finished

The date is June 4th and another school year is over. This year had some major ups and downs for me. We lost, yet again, another principal and yet again we have presented a contract to another eager beaver. But we have not heard if she has accepted the contract. I guess we will know something in August.

I am not really sad to see this class of students leave the building. I am not very eager to have the 7th graders come upstairs either. I had that group for summer school last year and I have heard many horror stories with them this year. I sure hope they mature some during the summer.

I have decided to teach another year of summer school. It is too easy not to. We only go to school Monday- Thursday from 8:15- 12:15. That is not a difficult day. I am teaching the 8th graders that did not pass this year. I know most of the students that will be in my class, which makes it so much easier.

I completed my first class for my Master's. I learned a whole bunch when it comes to different technologies that I did not even know exsisted. I am now working with my learning styles vs my teaching styles. That should be interesting because I found out today that the two different categories do not go hand in hand. I do not teach like I learn. I want to explore that more and I will have an opportunity this week when I complete my next assignment.

I went to the Cardinal's game last night and sat in a suite right behind home plate. I took total advantage of being in the suite. Free food, free beer and sitting right behind the catcher and actually seeing the strike zone. It was pretty cool. Thanks Jenny and Emily.

Here's to a sunny and warm weekend in St. Louis. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Go CARDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Off on Yet Another Trip

You know, I feel as if I am always traveling. It has been nice to get out of town for some fun. This time I am going to Chicago to see my family and I am looking forward to the visit. I will get to see my grandparents, my dad and Betty and my brother and his family. I am also going to my niece's play on Saturday. That should be fun to watch. My best friend from highschool finally responded to an email, so I will get to see her as well. Her life has taken a few turns as well. Totally looking forward to sitting around and catching up.

School is just about out. In fact we have 9 more instructional days left. And I am one of those mean teachers that will have something due right up to the last day. That is the only way to keep ones sanity.

I am also halfway through my first master's class. I have learned so much about technology the last 4 weeks. BUT, I am not looking forward to writing a paper for my final assignment. I have some reading to catch up on!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok, this is all for now. I will post after my weekend. Oh yea, I almost forgot. Brian and I are going to the Cubs game Sunday afternoon. The tickets are 11 rows from the field!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am sure we will have a great time.

Have a great weekend everyone,


Thursday, May 7, 2009

Ok OK Mary here you go

I walked in to get my hair cut last Friday and got hit in the arm by my friend Mary. Her comment was, I like you blog, smack, when are you going to update it. So here you go Mary.

My life has been a little crazy lately. I have spent the last two weekends out of town. One trip was for my 20 year college reunion. I really can't believe it has been 20 years since I graduated. But there were only 3 from my class there, that sucked. I would of liked to see more of my college companions. I was able to spend the weekend with a few people I don't get to see very often. Siobhan who is living in Denver and Doris who lives in Valley Park. I also was able to hang out with Bear. That was much needed. We had a great time hanging out and laughing.

Last weekend was the annual trek to Memphis for Memphis in May. Kelly was able to go this time and it does what it always does that weekend. It RAINED. It rained from Friday about midnight to Sunday morning. So we made an executive decision to skip the music at the park and go to Beale Street instead. That was a good call. Kelly took a much needed nap after our "Fruit Juices" and lunch at Central BBQ. Then I watched a 50 -1 horse win the derby and then it was off to Beale Street and Wet Willies. I love me some frozen drinks. We had dinner at The Kings Palace, very good food and then off to a bar to listen to a blues band. We left around noon on Sunday to start back to St. Louis. The best musical groups were playing Sunday night but I did not want to get home at 2 am. I needed to be at school on Monday. Next year, I will try to save 2 personal days for this trip.

My next trip will be next weekend to Chicago to see my family. I have not been up there since Christmas. My grandparents want to see this adorable face. I also fell into some pretty good Cubs tickets. My friend Brian bought some tickets to the Cubs games this summer to take his mom to Wrigley Field. She is having some issues with her knee so she can not make the game in May. So I get to go instead. Apparently, the tickets are 11 rows from the field. I will have to cheer for the Cubs because they are playing the Astro's. I really don't like the Astro's.

What else has been occupying my time.... well I finally fulfilled a promise to myself. I am working on my Master's Degree. I am doing it on line through Ashford University and I am really getting a lot out of it already. This is week 3 of the 6 week class. I have already learned about much more technology to help me in the classroom. Pretty cool huh?

The home situation is not the best..... I will continue to work on my self-control and my patience.
Enough said on that issue.

I hope you all are doing well and take care of yourself and the ones you love.


Wednesday, April 8, 2009

I Was Fooling Myself

Today has been very frustrating for many reasons. The main reason is how the students that I service are not wanting to be accountable for their education. It really is a shame. If they only knew what other children in other parts of the United States and other countries go through just so they could have an education. These kids take so much for granted. I was just recounting my own frustrations I had in middle school just the other day. I wanted an education, it just did not come easy for me. I had to work to just understand the basics' in many areas. Most of these students don't even attempt any effort. They want to use anyone or anything as their scapegoat.
7 more weeks left and then summer vacation. That is the light at the end of the tunnel.

I passed out grade sheets today for a shock factor. I service 67 students, which really is not that many. A few years ago, I was responsible for 110 students. At this time, 29 students are failing and 8 students have D's. So that means that half of my students are not making the grade. AND, I heard from several students how I LOST THEIR WORK. Are you serious?! What EVER!!!!!!!.

Then I tried to email Terri to get the lines of communication open and that did not go well either. I have set up a time to sit and talk to her and I will do my best to keep my blood pressure down.
But I have to say, I am very frustrated with the "conversations". It is like beating a dead horse.

This is not a decision that I made on the fly, this is not a decision that I have not thought about for a while.
I am sorry our relationship did not last forever.

It is time to make a transition. Yes, I have made the transition faster because I was the one not happy. But, I also expressed that many times to her and she did not stop to reflect or stop and change anything. SO why do I have to be "punished" because I made a decision and I am choosing to move on.

I am not going to feel as though I did something wrong. I am not going to feel as though I did not "try" hard enough to save the relationship. All of you know me, you have listened to me when I have vented about this exact thing. How long have you patiently listened to me? It has been at least 8 months if not more. She is not going to take her anger and frustration out on me. That is not happening.

Why am I even entertaining the idea of sitting down and talking? Mainly because of the pattern I have discovered in my life. I normally run and then come back later and try to talk things out. I am not RUNNING FROM ANYTHING!!!!!! If she wants to ask questions, she better be ready for the answers.

Ok I feel a little bit better. Remember, comments are always welcome. I can take anything with a grain of salt.



Wednesday, April 1, 2009

I Discovered a Pattern in my Life

So here it is again, 3 AM, Wednesday morning. I have been tossing and turning in bed for an hour now. I finally realized why. I cleaned out my nightstand last night from the room I shared with Terri. I did not realize it would really affect me to do something like that. Well it did. Not so much the whole cleaning it out and organizing the contents of the nightstand; it was how the room looked. It was no longer my room. And that is ok; don't get me wrong. I AM NOT REGRETTING FOR A SECOND MY DECISION. It is the fact that she has the larger room and I have the room that still has a lot of "our shit" in it. I need to make my room MY ROOM and I am doing something to help make that possible every chance I get.

In my room, I don't have a lot of space and I think I got resentful. Not of Terri but of the situation. I have a third floor and by all rights that should be now mine. But why should I displace her daughter because I want more space. Also, all of Terri's scrapbooking stuff went upstairs so if I did take that space I would still be sharing it with her and that is not what I want or need in my bedroom. So I came to the conclusion that I will make my room, which is a very nice room, especially with a deck attached, the best room I can. It is only a bedroom for God's Sake.

So the pattern that I figured out......... it goes back to when I left Columbia in 1990. I was headed to Denver, CO to be with the love of my life, or I thought. (Sorry Siobhan) When I went out there for Spring Break to look for apartments, I was told that we would not be living together. I can move out to Denver, rent an apartment, get a teaching job, but no guarantees? What the FUCK!. So when I went back to Columbia, I had to come up with another plan. I had already resigned my teaching job, so I was unemployed as of June. I needed a plan. So, my plan was to pack all of my things up and move to St. Louis. Why St. Louis? Well how many school districts do we have in St. Louis? A bunch! That was my thought too. I would surely land a job in a district and find a nice apartment and go on with my life. Well, it did not work out like that. I had to place all my things in storage, stay with friends in Belleville for a few months before I found a job, any job.

So here is the pattern, I box my shit up, live out of boxes for awhile before I land on my feet again. For some people that works. But I had to ponder the question why did I keep doing that? I must have repeated that process 5 or 6 times now in my life. So the pattern, as I see it is, I am happy for awhile in a relationship and then I run by packing all my shit in boxes.

Am I punishing myself for failing? That is my question. Is that how my subconscious works? I must suffer in order to find my happiness again?

This time, I am finding my happiness within myself. I have noticed a change in me, personally. A weight has been lifted off my shoulders and I am a much happier person because of it. That does not mean that I am not going to have set backs. I just thought it was interesting how I reflected on all the moves I have made in my life and why those moves were necessary.

My dad did just told me recently, change is something that is good and that is what life is about. I know most of you know my dad or at least know what my dad is like, I totally looked into the phone like he had a third head.

Change is good. I will be looking at my life and start to make positive changes. I hope you all will support me on this journey.

I love you all and thanks for being my friend.